Duck Banter

#nosyneighbor #statefarm #wherearethetrannyhookers #hollywood #potsibilities
#nosyneighbor #statefarm #wherearethetrannyhookers #hollywood #potsibilities

The other day, while I was home working, I heard a man and a woman arguing outside. Like really yelling, back and forth, with the speed and intensity that only a couple that has been together for a while could organically volley. Being a good neighbor, I went to the window to be entertained, and/or make sure everyone was all right. And there was a tan man, probably 5’10” with gray hair, fit, with a thin woman, who was shorter than him, with dark auburn hair, and he was saying, with complete sincerity, “Yes, I love you, but you’ve been pushing for a long time, and now I WANT TO PUSH THE CART!” And he was pushing a red shopping cart filled with garbage bags filled with recyclables down the very center of our street.

Ha! This homeless couple, who may be thin from hunger or Meth, seemed like a pair of ducks who mated for life, and despite the actions they were taking, their words were said in the exact same manner that any middle class sweet pair of ducks would argue. I loved it.

It makes me wonder if incredibly rich people banter in the same way too. “Yes, I love you, it’s just that your space butler/chaeffuer/secretary has been managing the family business for the past hour and I want MY space butler/chaeffuer/secretary to manage the business now!” Or whatever incredibly rich people may argue about. Maybe they will come have a conversation outside of my window and I’ll find out.

Why can I buy avocados?

So I’m hoarding avocados now. It’s really fun. I feel like I get all the beneficial feelings of being a crazy cat lady, without the pre-packaged judgement 🙂 But give it time, the world will soon have a new breed of stereotype: The Hoarding Avocado Woman.

This morning, while cleaning the kitchen, I looked at my pile of four avocado seeds sitting in a puddle of water on the back edge of the sink. I leave them there as a visual to-do list and because this is the best thing I’ve thought of so far to keep them alive until I can plant them. The water from washing dishes each day splashes on them and kinda forms a little life-nest beneath them, giving me the time to come up with another glass jar somehow.

Everything in the store in a glass jar has a new meaning to me. I want to crouch down and surprise-leap onto my prey in Trader Joes, and flailingly leave it’s contents strewn wherever just get to it’s magnificant glass hide and display it with pride along my window sill. Continue reading “Why can I buy avocados?”