Ass Hat Sandwich: Dairy Free Soy Free Gluten Free Egg Sandwich with a giant pepper that looks like a butt holding in the ingredients and wearing a bread slice that looks like a hat. Good Morning Everyone. #sauteed #organic #yellowonion in a #pan then #ripped #organic #dinosaurkale into a #whisked #egg and #cooked on #mediumhigh until #goldenbrown then in the same #pan #toasted #ricebread in #oliveoil and #plated the #sandwich in the #order of #bread #omelet #onion #salsa #avocado #bellpepper #bread so that the #piece of #pepper #holds in the #avocado and I also #scored the #top so the #glutenfreebread could #grip the #orangebellpepper too #nofilter #yummy #breakfast #asshat #sandwich
Author: thewholeruth
Microwave Babies
My friend Simon said babies taking nine months to be made has always stayed the same. He likes that it’s something that can’t go faster. What if there was a machine that made time not take as much time? It would essentially make everything go faster, which seems like what we want, but it also makes something happen faster that we don’t like- age.
That is what I believe we give up when we go faster: years of our lives. Either because stress shortens life or some gadget or ray or chemical that makes things faster also makes us sick and die sooner. I believe we can’t truly go faster, but we can go for longer than we are taught. Healthy life expectancy is longer than 60-80 years, it’s 100-110. God gives us more time because it takes that long to go at a healthy pace.
We can get more out of life though, by going deeper. By facing our scary insides, growing through our fears and confusion and living more vivid, deep, connected, honest lives, instead of running so fast from thing to thing, fearful of a healthy pace that lets us see the truth.
The truth is- this whole thing sounds like a sex joke. Longer and deeper are better than faster. Which is not always true when it comes to sex.
My #SocialMedia #Disclaimer
Curry Quinoa & Avocado Kale Omelette
Savory and filling, yet refreshing and clean. Red Russian kale from the garden and eggs, over thick pieces of Bacon avocados on a bed of spiced quinoa.
It was Shane’s birthday and we woke up to an empty fridge and growling bellies. We had both been out of town for two weeks and gotten home the night before. We needed to go grocery shopping, but were too hungry to go. In the fridge there was a box and a jar filled with seeds I’m collecting. A Diet Coke we keep on hand in case our friend Simon comes over. Cookies shaped like the lead character of the show Shane works on that I plan to make into Christmas ornaments. A Brita filter in water that I’m hoarding in case the water in our pipes magically becomes not rusty and we start to use our Brita pitcher again. Our compost tupperware, a really old cabbage, and some new eggs:
So we had eggs. Outside of the fridge, we also had two avocados from my aunt and uncle’s tree, the end of a bag of dry quinoa, and a lemon.
That is pretty close to becoming something! We thought we would cook the quinoa and then sauté it in oil, stir in the egg to make something like fried rice and then add spices and avocado. Which would have pretty good I’m sure.
But then we remembered we have a GARDEN!!! It only has one thing in it right now: KALE :)!
So Shane picked fresh kale and made kale omelettes. I played with the spices and quinoa. And he plated it snuggling avocados between the two. Here is the recipe:
Ingredients: 2 cups of water, 1 cup of red quinoa, 3 hearty shakes of: curry powder, turmeric, *berebere powder, garlic powder, chili powder, 1/2 a lemon’s juice, 1/2 large Bacon avocado, 2 eggs, 6 Red Russian kale leaves, olive oil.
We try to use organic everything. This amount makes two omelettes and leaves a lot of extra quinoa for later.
*The Berebere powder was a gift from our magical friend, Jenna Johnson. She brought it from a town near to our heart, Pittsburgh. It is commonly used in Ethiopia and Eritrea in Africa. It’s a blend of chili peppers, garlic, ginger, basil, korarima, rue, ajwain or radhuni, nigella, and fenugreek. If you don’t have this ingredient, it’s okay. If you want to buy berebere from the store that Jenna did, it’s called Penzey’s and they’re on Penn Ave in Pittsburgh. They also have locations in 24 states and an online store.
Instructions: Bring two cups of water to a boil, add quinoa, stir, lower to a simmer, add spices and cook until little holes of air appear scattered throughout the quinoa.
Rip up 2-3 leaves of kale and mix in a bowl with an egg. Heat the olive oil on high.
Shane heats it long enough so that when he puts his hand over the oil, he feels the heat, then he adds the kale and egg mixture.
After a few minutes of the egg cooking on the first side, when he sees the egg bubbling a bit, he checks to see if he can get the spatula under the egg. If not, he waits until he can, if so, he flips the egg.
On the second side, he lets it cook for a bit again then presses it with the spatula. If uncooked egg comes out, he flips it again. Usually that’s all the flipping that is needed, but he’ll repeat this until the egg is cooked all the way through.
Place about an inch of quinoa the size of the omelette on a plate. Top that with thick pieces of avocado. Place the omelette on top. Enjoy! And have a Happy Birthday!
New ‘Feast on Your Life’ Yoga Class in my VirtualStudio on @hitPLAYyoga
Beautiful…
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. – Derek Walcott
I have a NEW class up in my VirtualStudio on @hitPLAYyoga :: Feast on Your Life Flow Level I/II :: and it would be a joy and an honor to practice with you!
The Inglorious Fruits & Vegetables
Calling someone “ugly” isn’t cool, neither is throwing away 300 million tons of “ugly” fruit each year. A European supermarket chain decided to sell “not normal looking” fruit through the campaign “The Inglorious Fruits and Vegetables.” The first two days they sold on average 1.2 tons per store and had a 24% increase in overall store traffic! Heres to not wasting food when people are starving and to appreciating that different looking fruit tastes the same! Thanks Hollywood Orchard for the link!
Hey Kids! ICECREAM
This is real. It’s an icecream truck. From the past. In the present… On our street regularly playing a song as happy, creepy, old & struggling as it looks.
WATER
False advertising. #CRACKER
The Drought
Surprised to read in the LA Times that “…right now [California] has only about one year of water supply left in its reservoirs, and our strategic backup supply, groundwater, is rapidly disappearing. California has no contingency plan for a persistent drought like this one…”
I’d like to see LA want to switch, in our hearts, from lush landscaping to desert terrain. Palm trees aren’t native plants. The way the hills and canyons look is our natural terrain. Sprinklers often come on at night when people don’t see them, so I think people assume grass naturally grows here. But if we don’t manually water it, it dies. Anywhere we see green grass is an alert that someone is wasting water (except in the rainy winter). Even in fancy places or landmarks we love that take our breath away.
Moving from South Carolina to Tucson, Arizona was a shock, but I got used to the fact that I lived in a desert so it looked like a desert. Southern California needs to gently accept that we’re actually in a desert pumping in water to make it look tropical. It will be hard to give up the way we have perceived our home for decades. Deserts are beautiful too though. Especially when there’s enough water in them to drink, bathe, cook, grow food and live.
Arugula Avocado Tapenade Bruschetta
You can swap out the arugula for kale, or the rice bread for polenta, or the tapenade for vegan pesto. You can replace the bruschetta with a metal door, and the bread with the base of a jet plane, and the arugula with airplane wings and fly away! If you want to go flying, go flying!
#vegan #glutenfree #soyfree #dairyfree #goodfat #tastytreat #airplane
Ingredients: Trader Joe’s Bruschetta, Trader Joe’s Olive Tapenade, half an organic avocado, rice bread, organic arugula, organic olive oil
A way to make it: I heated about a tablespoon of olive oil in a pan, then cooked one side of the rice bread in it until it was browned. Then I buttered that side with avocado slices, covered it in tapenade, topped that with bruschetta and put on as much arugula as would fit.
Side notes:
I was craving Little Caesar’s pizza so I tried to put as much fat and tasty things on here as I could, but only fat and tasty things that I’m not allergic to. It actually satiated the craving! That’s a rare occurence.
Rice bread can be spongey and dry & crumbly at the same time so toasting it in oil usually makes it not those things and just delicious instead.
If you don’t have a Trader Joe’s nearby, turn this meal into an airplane first so you can go get the exact brand of ingredients. Or just use any brand.










